Blogger's block...

You know, I sit at work most days and things pop in my head to tell you all about, but then I come here, and I completely either forget what it was or can't get it into words.

Does this happen to any of you?

So then I go off and read other people's blogs and think "Man, that would have made a great post!" and can't use it cause I don't want to steal other's ideas.

Traci had a suggestion, and I was going to blog about it last night, from home. I got home, and after dinner, and homework (this week might be Kyle's first week he gets a 100% on his spelling test, as long as he can remember that knit has a 'k') and other various activities and Grey's Anatomy, and Shark. I hadn't blogged about it. But it was a good idea, so keep watching for it.

Then I wonder, while some of you that read, know me and my family, do you want to hear about the everyday stuff, or should I try to be witty and random? Do you want a peek into my life that I normally don't show? It's so hard to know what to type about.

I could make every post about my kids, or my bad dog, or my hubby. While I really try hard not to post my dirty laundry, sometimes the StupidX makes it hard not to post about him.

I'm sure you might want to compare your wonderful marriages to mine to see if we're both as happy as we say we are. But even if I wasn't happy, as you'll notice in the past, I don't post the big things. Is it surprising that we have our share of Big Issues? Shouldn't be. Everyone does. You know you do too.

You might even want to compare how your great kids are against my great kids. I don't really want to talk about only them though. It's hard talking about activities because I don't want everyone to know what my kids do exactly or where they do it. I mean this is the internet, and I do have to protect my babies. I don't think I've given anything away that you would know exactly where we live. Well, after all MD is a pretty wide general area.

Putting comparisons aside, there's lots of stuff that is interesting, but a lot that I think is interesting, but you might find a total waste of your time and the space on the internet.

So... I'll open the floor for questions or suggestions about what you want me to write about, and if I can, I will... I'll steal all your ideas, and turn them into some amusing silly anecdote for your reading pleasure.

Comment away! (Oh, and if you're a lurker, and you know you are, say hello already, I don't bite. Honest.)

Life in the fast lane...

Yep, that's me... just flying through life. Things are pretty busy now that those routines are in place. Doesn't help that there are extra things thrown in, like birthday parties, and scouting trips.

Because it's been busy, I'm going to just dump. I'm good at that.

Kay met a boy. He's 18. Not much difference between 18 and 19 if you ask me. This boy is a Senior in high school. He does not drive. His mom works with Kay. That's how they met. This woman set them up. She showed me some of the text messages that he sent to her... He's telling her that he's thinking about her and he calls her "sweetheart". I have agreed that they can go to the movies this coming weekend. I haven't yet told her that I would be taking them. I'm not ready for her to grow up. If I don't give her permission to do somethings, she will think I am unreasonable and while I would like to believe that she would never disobey what I ask of her, I remember being 16.

Nikki also has met a boy. He is 14 and in the 9th grade. She wanted to go to his baseball game this coming weekend. I did tell her no. I told her that she needs to quit being so boy-crazy and just focus on her schoolwork, and her friends and herself. That she was too young to date. She was too young to even think about dating. She's the one I'll have to watch. She is so eager to do what ever will make someone like her, and goes with the crowd way more than I like. Anyone know of any good convents? ;)

The boy across the street is a bad influence. My sweet baby is becoming an evil beast. I noticed them playing games of what I thought was tag the other day. I said something to Kyle at dinner about it, and he said they weren't playing tag, they were playing "Vice City"... as in Grand Theft Auto. The boy is allowed to play this video game, and while Kyle is there, he watches him play. I have already told him that I don't want him to play, and he has told me that he doesn't. But... if they are then going to run around and play this game in the front yard, what's the difference?! He's also been backtalking a bit. He lost use of our PS2 for 3 days because of it. He is not allowed to go into The Boy's house either while on this punishment. Guess I can't really blame this behavior on the StupidX... but I do need to stop it and fast.

Oh... and for those of you who know me... I'll just say, I left the lights on. And, was pleasantly pleased with the response. That might have to happen more often. ;)

I think we're going to do the stupid Rat for Ky's bday party. It's the easiest and most accomodating option right now.

Ok... I think I'm done dumping... oh except that I really don't feel like working, I want to go home. I wish I could afford to be a SAHM... My kids are at an age where I could stay at home to be there in the afternoons after school, and still have time to do some stuff for me. I go in cycles... I'm at that point in my cycle that I want either a new job or no job. I know I've said this a million times before, but I really need to write a resume and do something. As long as it's a 9-5 job, making as much, Hubby said I could do what ever I want.

Ok... now I really think I'm done. thanks for letting me dump.

What's the big deal?

I have friends... really I do.

Almost all of those people over there on the side... I know them. They are my friends. I have even met some of them in real life. More than once!

Why then is it so hard for me to have friends in real life? I just don't get it. I mean it's not like I have some weird thing against having friends. I really don't. I had several friends in high school. My best friend and I were even friends from the 7th grade until well beyond graduation. Until her husband and my StupidX had a spat about softball, and then to keep the peace in our respective homes, we lost touch. I really miss her. But now, we have nothing in common. I have kids, she does not. She lives too far away to "run into" at the store. I really, really miss her.

Since then, I never had any really close friends. I mean I've had friends... people I've worked with, my children's friends parents, but none that I really wanted to be "best friends" with.

Now, there's a woman... She is Nikki's best friend's mom. Her son and Kyle are in the same Cub Scout Pack. She is the Tiger Leader. We are always at the same things at the same time. She is much younger than I am, but that doesn't really matter. She has other friends, but she constantly comments about how much she likes me. Nikki tells me all the time. She has even told me. Don't misunderstand. I like her, too. I'm just not sure I can have a best friend.

Somewhere, I've become odd. I always wonder what other people's motives are. Are they doing something to gain for themselves? Is there some alterior motive? Am I being used? Will I end up looking like a fool? Why do I think these things? I really don't think that people are bad. I really don't think that everyone is out to get something. I really want to be her friend, but I'm not sure how. We seem to have things in common. She's funny, and we always laugh when we're together. Our kids get along. Our Hubby's even get along. I never used to be this suspicious of people. I just don't get it.

So, what's the big deal? I don't think I remember how to be a friend in real life... Anyone got any pointers?

TV, Music and Memories...

There has been much speak of death on blogs lately... I first read this on Beth's site. Then a day later, I read this, over on MetroDad. See, lots of death. I guess with all that, my mind was already working... I was remembering... Sometimes, you shouldn't do that...

Last night I was watching Grey's Anatomy. I watched the night before, when one of the main character's boyfriend died. I watched last night while she just lied on the bathroom floor unable to move. I know that feeling. All too well.

Lets take a trip back in time... to 1983. Yeah, I'm old. Get over it. I was a senior in high school. My best friend knew this guy... she kinda liked him. I did not. I didn't hate him or anything, he just didn't seem my type. We all hung out together, he was older so he would buy the beer. Well, from all of us always being together, I started to like him. He was smart, and funny and played guitar. Yeah, that's a big one for an 17 yo girl. He asked me out. I said yes. We were then unseparable. My parents had this rule that I was not allowed to go on a date in a car or to the drive in movies until I was 18. For my 18th birthday, he came and picked me up in his Firebird, and we went to the drive in. We saw Rocky something or other, and that movie Beastmaster, and I don't remember the 3rd one, because me? I fell asleep. No kidding. My parents did not believe me. My friends did not believe me. We dated for less than a year. We talked about getting married in a couple years, we talked about kids, we talked about forever. Our song? Every Breath You Take by the Police... do kids still have a "song"?

There was one small obstacle. His heart. He had been born with a hole between the top 2 chambers of his heart. He was to have surgery. Everyone said that yes, it was open heart surgery, but not as bad as that sounds. He had the surgery. He was in Recovery. I went to see him... even though he told me not to. We talked, I was terrified. The next day, I was on my way to visit him... I got upstairs, told the nurse who I was there to see, and she got this look. She asked me to wait a minute, and his mom came out... they walked me to this little room... it was pink and green. It was too cold. The air was blasting. That's when I went numb. My whole world seemed to just collapse around me. I couldn't think. I just sat there looking at the nurse, nodding my head... as if she were still speaking to me.

For years, I tried to replace him with the guys I dated... not very smart. The hurt, it's almost gone. Obviously, the memory isn't. I have every little trinkity thing that he gave me or that we did together... movie stubs and the like.

This morning, I heard our song. Last night, I relived it thru a character on a TV show. Some memories fade with time. I don't think I want this one to... I'm glad the pain did. But I'm glad that the spot in my heart for him is still there.

Baby Steps...

There's some strange relationships happening in my house.

There's the one with me and the little ones. It's the typical parent/child relationship. There's the one with me and Hubby. It's the typical married couple relationship (it definately has it's ups and downs, but for the most part, it's good). There's the sibling relationship. They love each other one minute, and then are plotting the other's death the next.

Then there's the one between Hubby and the little ones. Kay and Nikki were very conflicted at first. Here was this guy, he was fairly cool, and fun, and wasn't their dad. After some time, they became attached. They really do love him. And if you ask him, he's "Very fond" of them too... that translates from guy-speak to he loves them too. They felt bad for loving him. How would their dad feel about it? Did that mean they loved their dad any less? We've had many discussions about this... They didn't need to feel bad. They are 2 different people, and while they are sure they don't love thier dad any less, they know that they love Hubby as much.

Then, there's Kyle. He was the most at odds with this whole thing. He doesn't remember his dad and I together. We separated when he was 10 months old. He has known Hubby as long as he can remember. He's known his dad's wifeypoop as long as he can remember. He loves Hubby too.... and while I'm pretty sure he's fond of Wifeypoop, I'm not going admit that he might love her. LOL! He has no problem telling me that he loves me. He never has. He's very affectionate. He has even told Hubby that he loves him I think.

Here's the really funny thing though.... for the last 5 years, he has never hugged Hubby. Just recently, he has started giving Hubby a hug goodnight. I get the whole kit and kaboodle... I get the hug, the kiss and the "Can you just lay with me for 2 minutes?". It has only been in the last couple of weeks, that he will hug Hubby, and only then if I ask him to.

The girls don't either. Well Nikki does, but she's just that kind of person. She is the most outwardly affectionate. (She even gives me a kiss good-bye at school! Where her friends will see! SHOCKING!) I haven't quite figured out why they have no problem telling Hubby they love him, but won't hug him... I know it doesn't really matter. They don't have to give hugs or kisses to let him know they love him. They follow his rules, they respect him, and they ask his advice. That's all the proof he needs.

One day, I'm sure they will, but for now, I'm just happy they haven't mutinied yet.

Let the Games Begin!

Well, here we are... Fall. The air becomes crisp, the leaves are changing color, the fruit stands now have pumpkins for sale... I love fall. I love to take the kids trick or treating, walking after dark, door to door, leaves crunching underfoot. I love the smell of apple pie baking, or applesauce cooking. Carving pumpkins for Halloween.

If I love fall, why am I so crabby? I'll tell you why... routines. I know, routines are good. Everyone needs a good solid routine. Whatever. I pretty much laid down the law early on, there would not be a gazillion activities. I would not be running from soccer to gymnastics to dance to scouts to whatever the next can't miss thing is. I would not be a slave to my children's busy social lives.

So, slowly, as is so common, it snuck up on me. We're in our second week of school... Homework is in full swing. Both girls have homework for everything every night. Kyle's is math and spelling. Oh, and reading. Every night.

The kids go to my mom's after school... except for Kay. She heads to a friend's then home. They do not do homework there. So, last night, Nikki had confirmation class. StupidX picked them up. You would think that knowing that they would not be home until Kyle's bedtime, that he would have had them do their homework. Nope. Kyle had to get up early to finish his spelling. He had to do the math last night before going to bed.

Tonight, Kyle's homework is to write 5 sentences using 5 of his spelling words. He has to study for a math quiz tomorrow. And read for 15 minutes. I had him start his sentences this morning. Why? Because tonight is scout night. I won't get home until 6, we have to get dinner and be at scouts at 7. There is no time in there for homework. We won't get home until a little after 8. Then it's bedtime.

Luckily, the routine for the rest of the week is just home, dinner and homework. Now that the seasons are changing, and Kyle isn't running around outside, getting all sweaty and dirty, and the air is drier (humidity-wise) he only gets a bath every other night.

Weekends are just as busy. Girls are at dance all day on Saturday (Nikki from 10-12 and Kay from 1-4). Sunday is Church and Sunday School.

And you know, I really don't mind doing the running for my kids, but I just wish there was more time to do homework. I really don't like that it's rushed or that the math or the spelling has to be done in the morning. It would also be really helpful that on the days that they are with StupidX for dinner, he could do homework with them. That might be too much to ask though. Why should he want to work with them? Isn't it enough that he picks them up to "spend time" with them? Right... we've been there before, so I won't even say it.

Routines, we all need them, but sometimes, they aren't always a good thing if they get to be too cluttered.

There's an old saying...

There's a sucker born every minute. Yesterday, I had about 30 of them.

We did a tour of Antietam yesterday. Hubby and I went, along with 3 guys that he works with. B, N, and R. We pulled in at one of the stops where the Washington Monument is. There were some guys there doing a living history demo. As we were done looking at the stuff they had laid out, the guy asked if we'd be interested in seeing all that a typical enlisted Union soldier would have to carry. We stood there and listened while he talked about food rations, and how they would use a canteen half to make a little fry pan. He showed us how they would use a bayonnet end to grind coffee beans for their coffee. It was all very interesting, then he asked for someone to help him out for a minute. I looked away. Inside I was begging... "don't pick me, don't pick me..." Guess I should have said it out loud. He started talking about all they had in thier packs, and the uniforms... then he started loading me down like a pack mule. I had a bag with food rations, a canteen, a powder bag (that holds the black powder and miniballs or bullets), the backpack (and it was my turn to carry the axe) and the bed roll. All together, it was about 45 lbs of gear. Oh, and don't forget the Musket Rifle and bayonnet. It was interesting to have all that stuff on, and to think that then these young men (and some women I learned) would then walk miles and have to fight. And trust me, it's not like you're walking down some little country road. We were in Western MD. In the Blue Ridge. Mountains. And some of the soldiers that were there, walked for days to get there. I had a hard time with just standing there. My shoulders were aching, and my back was beginning to hurt. With all that weight on your back you even change the way that you stand. It was a wonder more of them didn't just collapse from exhaustion.

All in all, it was a very interesting day. I saw Burnside Bridge, very cool. We saw Bloody Lane, very sad. If you ever get a chance, just once you should visit a Civil war battlefield (or any of our country's warfields). The history is rich, and for me, there is an overwhelming sense of awe. Just hearing how the battles unfold, and the bits of stories to go with them is very interesting.

Oh, and to prove I'm a sucker, there are photos. Enjoy.

Rain, Rain, go away...

Come again some other day... Just not here!

It's kinda dreary. And while I sit here at work, I'm not motivated. Can you tell? So while it's dreary, and I'm not motivated, I figured I would just dump some stuff...

My brother is still a deadbeat. He's onto something like job #8 in a little over a year. He has no money. Just finally got his own real place to live. On the upside, he is slowly taking the stuff out of my basement. Then we can move really finishing the basement off up the list.

PTA meetings are boring. Don't get me wrong, they have some good information to give, but for the most part, boring. And shouldn't there be some rule that the same woman can't be PTA president for every school your kids are in? I can't get away from this woman.

Do you remember that Disney movie Balto? At least I think it was Disney... anyway, Kay was at a friend's house and they were watching some show about Alaska, and they talked about Balto... she never knew that Balto was real.

Nikki's school had Back to School night last night. Hubby went in his work clothes. She was embarrassed. I was very confused by this. He works as a Systems Analyst for a Federal government agency. It's not like he's an auto mechanic and went in grease covered overalls. She said he was "too dressed up". I suggested that next time he could dress like her father, and wear a wrinkled up shirt, that doesn't cover the fat gut, and a pair of ugly ultra baggy sweatpants. Since StupidX thinks that is proper church attire, it would be just right for Back to School night, right?

Tonight is the High School back to school night. I'm curious to meet her teachers. I always like to go there, it's the same School I went to, and surprisingly, some of the teachers that I had, are still there.

Oh, and big plans for the weekend. We are doing a battlefield tour for the anniversary of the Bloodiest Day in the Civil War. Yep... we're headed to Antietam. Oh joy.

Critters...

So the other night, as I moved the rat that we have living in our dining room into the living room so that we could eat dinner, my 16 yo commented that I remind her of Dr. Doolittle. We started out with this rat (it was small/med when we bought it, now it's probably too big for the snake to eat...) as snake food, now it's almost a pet. I talk to it, it takes food from me, I reach in and pet it. I won't hold it though. We have even named it. It's name is Bubonic Plague. Yeah, we have a twisted sense of humor in our house.

As I mentioned, we have the snake, a ball python named Cleopatra. Cleo for short. She's not a big eater... that's why we now have the pet rat. We have discussed getting rid of her, and getting something that does eat. Kyle wants a turtle or a bird. We'll have to see about that.

We have 2 cats. Heidi, named that because when she was a kitten, she would climb up our pant legs like she were scaling a cliff. She's a very fluffy grey domestic long hair. Kashmir, named after some Pink Floyd song... I think. (Correction: It's a Led Zeppelin song... thanks Lara!) I didn't name her, my brother did. We started out cat sitting, but now she's ours. She's a beautiful calico.

We have our dog, Ebony, but we call her Ebbie. She's just a small/medium mixed breed. She's very high strung, and bad. She's very lovable though.

We also have 2 Hermit Crabs. One is named Shorty, and the other is OB... it stands for Old Bay. See... there's that twisted sense of humor again. Kyle wouldn't let us name Shorty. We wanted to name it Imperial... or Drawn Butter.

The latest thing we are admiring, but it's not a pet is this cool looking spider. It's in the evergreen bush in the back yard. I'm really hoping she lays eggs. That would be really cool.

Sometimes I wonder if I should have really seriously pursued that vetrinary degree....

Today

A sad day. One that will never be forgotten. The one that we now look back and say "I remember exactly where I was."

There is nothing I could say that countless other people haven't already said.

I will add my thoughts and prayers to all the families that have been touched by that horrific day. I will pray for my country. I will pray for the troops that are fighting. I will pray for their safety, and their swift return home. I will pray for the mothers and fathers that lost a child. For the children that lost thier mother or their father. For the brothers and sisters that lost a sibling. For everyone that lost a friend. And for all the rest of us, that in some way lost our innocence.

Oh, Guess what I have...

Thanks to Mark for being our camera man, and our techie guy for getting this out there...

Remember that Big Surprise? Well, here's the video proof of how well this was pulled off! LOL!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McrPd03w_Hs

Enjoy!

Do you remember that guy...

You know, the one on that show... The guy that used to pop his head out and say "Interesting. Very Interesting."? Now do you remember? I thought you might.

That's how I see my weekend going. We are leaving tonight to go camping with the scouts. It's family camping. I told my older 2, we are going camping. As a family. All of us. Together. I'm sure you heard the world coming to an end. Ok, to a 16 yo, what is a fate worse then death? Being made to spend a weekend with your family. If there were a fate worse than the fate worse than death, it would be spending that weekend with your family with no escape to the TV. No room to go sulk in. No where to hide. We did agree that she could bring a friend along. So, now I'll have 2 16 yo girls that "Don't do nature" in misery. Hey, it loves company, so why not? (I will admit, I almost peed my pants when H asked if she could bring her hair straightner. Um... last I checked, our tent didn't have any electrical outlets.)

The other daughter asked a friend to come along, and she said she was going to be there, then yesterday at school, told her that she didn't want to go. Said something about her mom was going somewhere and she wanted to do that instead. I felt sorry for her. Her sister did say that she could hang out with her. That was nice. We'll see how long it lasts.

Kyle got a new fishing pole. He's pretty anxious to use it. There's a lake and trails and such... Supposed to be some nesting eagles on an island in the middle of the lake. I'm looking forward to being there. I know it will be busy and crazy, and lots of running about, but it should be fun.

If not fun... interesting at the least.

Some things are confusing...

(I don't really like to talk bad about my coworker... she's had a rough time of it lately, but somethings just get to be too overwhelming.)

I will be the first to admit that sometimes, I confuse easily. Shocking isn't it? Not if you know me. By the same token, while I might confuse easily, I usually can figure stuff out, and it doesn't take me long to become un-confused.

Take our phone system at work... Yes it was a little confusing at first, but only because until we had this installed in June, we had the same old system for about 11 years. It took a little getting used to, and I'll admit, I have "lost" the occasional phone call. My lovely Office Mate? She still can't seem to get through a day without hanging up on someone, or transferring someone to the wrong extension, or some other equally simple-until-she-tries-it blunder. I just don't get it. We are sharing the receptionist responsibilities. We answer the same number of phone calls. The other thing that I don't understand, is why, when the caller ID shows my name and my home number does she almost break her arm going for the phone? Does she think that my family wants to talk to her instead of me? I also don't understand the need to read them outloud. Backwards. You know the caller id displays "Smith, John" so that's exactly how she reads it... and she then tries to figure out what kind of first name Smith is!

The other thing that I totally don't understand is why she thinks that no matter what she is doing, when it doesn't work the way she thinks it should, which is half the time wrong, she thinks I know why. Our new client tracking software, again until recently (July) we've had the same software for 11 years, is totally different than what we used in the past. Why she would think that they are the same and will work and function and create everything exactly the same is beyond me. I don't know why when you click on that button the stuff doesn't auto fill. I never had the need for that, since we do completely different billing.

Also, one last thing that really seems to bug me is that when someone comes into the office, and they've walked up to the window, that she didn't want the desk next to, and I speak to them, if she can't see them from her seat over there, she feels the need to stand up and come stand behind my chair to see who they are. Does she think they don't see that? Or does she think it's any better to actually get up out of her chair and look out the office door to see who is in the lobby? That's almost as bad as when there is someone sitting in the lobby chairs, and someone walks through the lobby, they stop to ask if they've been helped. No, I watched them walk through the front door that is 8 feet from my desk, grunted, and pointed to a chair. I was supposed to help them? UGH!

Sorry, that's been a long time coming, and I have been meaning to put it all down here in the past, but is seems that someone else has cornered the "Dear Co-Worker," letter market.

Hobbies...

Everyone has one. Don't tell me you don't. You might read, or collect stuff, or are even a blogger like me. Maybe your hobby is to just read blogs. You could even have the hobby of avoiding having a hobby.

Wanna know what my hobby is? My hobby is "Kind of". Huh? What do you mean you've never heard of that? Sure you have... I'll explain. Here are some of my hobbies...

I crochet. Kind of. I'm ok at it. I'm pretty much self-taught. I mean my mom does it, and my grandma does it too, so when I was young, I mean really young like 6 or so, they taught me how to crochet. I stopped doing it for a really long time, then tried my hand at it. I made a scarf. It was a thing of beauty. I stopped there.

I cross stitch. Kind of. I did a couple things, have some nice pieces, and some that I'd love to finish, but I got stuck on a piece I was doing, and sat it down to come back to later and never did.

I scrapbook. Kind of. I have some stuff to do a couple pages that the kids gave me for either my birthday or mother's day. I never even opened it... I would love to though, cause it looks like fun and the end result is always soooo cool.

See... My hobbies are Kind of.

I do love to take pictures, but I take forever to get the film developed. It took me 5 years to get pictures developed from our vacation to the happiest place on Earth.

I love to read, but it takes me forever to finish a book. I've been reading the same book for almost 3 weeks now. I think I'm on the 4th chapter. They are not unusually long chapters.

Now do you understand? That's what I meant by Kind of.

So, what would you expect someone with a hobby of Kind of to do? Yep! You guessed it. I started a new hobby. Yeah, like I have the time for that...

One of my good friends knits. Actually a few of my good friends knit. I love looking at the stuff they do. The great things they create. So, I got pointed in the direction of a great knitting site, and got some tips on what to look for in a learning to knit book, $25 later (shhh... don't tell hubby... lol!) and I have some basic supplies. Got the book, a pair of needles, a skein of yarn. I'm set.

This Christmas, everyone gets a scarf!