Just Say NO...

Why can't I ever do that? I know I've discussed this before. I thought I was over it. I guess not.

Let me paint a picture for you... It's a school cafeteria, like any other. It's a Tuesday night, the room is filled with sounds of boys laughing and carrying on as boys do.

I sit down and am chatting with one of the other parents who happens to be the Tiger leader. My boy is a Wolf. Our daughters are best friends. She mentions that she's nervous since this is her first year as a helper. She really wishes someone else would be her leader.... I had agreed to be a helper to my sons den. I was filling out the paper work. What's one night a week? Not a big deal. I finish filling in the form, and I give it to the wonder woman I mentioned in that other post... She asks me what position I'm signing up for. I mention that the other leaders had talked about how tight things were going to be this year, since we had so many kids, and needed the extra help. Can you see where this is going? Need some more help?

You are now looking at the newest Assistant Scoutmaster. Yeah. I signed up to be the big Assistant. Hubby said I should look at as getting a promotion. Um... I hadn't even gotten the job yet. They can't promote me already, can they? On the bright side, I get to go to all the field trips with all the scouts. Not just the ones my kid goes on. That could be fun, right?

Anyway... if you need me... I'll be over there, practicing my "No, I'm sorry, I would love to help, but I'm crazy and you don't want me around small children" reply.

One of these days...

A little help from my friend...

Just when you hit the low spots, and you want to duck and cover, a friend steps up.

So I blogged about Hubby, said I didn't want to discuss it. The next day, I get an IM that says, "I know you aren't talking about it, but HUGS!" I think it hit me at the right time. I blurted. Everything. And then some. While I didn't like what she was making me think about, that thinking made it more clear to me that I needed to take action.

Hubby and I have had several really good conversations. We are getting closer to a conclusion/solution. All because the hard questions, made me realize, that while sometimes we all do stupid things, some are harder to get past. It will take time. Maybe lots of time. Maybe outside help. We're moving forward toward healing.

What I know, more than anything, I love my husband.

The other thing that I know. I love my friend. This friend who is wonderful, and asks the tough questions, unfortunately, speaks from some experience. I wish I knew the tough questions to ask so they know that it's ok for them to move forward too.

Thank you, friend. I'm glad I know you.

I have to put grease on the what!?!

So, this weekend has been interesting to say the least.

Friday night, hit a bump with Hubby, and it's getting better, and I'm not going to talk about it, especially not here, but we agreed we would handle it privately, so even if you ask, I'm not gonna tell cause that's what agreed to. (Whew, you try typing that all in one breath... LOL!)

Saturday, Usual running around, and we discussed fixing the kitchen faucet that doesn't shut off, and Hubby said we'd do it today. Ok... not sure why we had to wait, but whatever.

Today, Hubby got up, took Kay to work, went to the grocery store and came home. I was awake by 8:35... on a Sunday that I didn't need to get up early... ugh. So I'm sitting and drinking the coffee that Hubby so kindly stopped to get for me, and he says, "I don't think we should mess with the sink." Um, what?! I'm up, you told me to get up so that we could do it this morning, and now you aren't sure we should do it? I told him that if it went horribly awry, we'd figure something out, but we were going to attempt it.

We got it apart, and headed to the Home Depot. (While there, we looked at paint colors for the living room.) We bought the little kit to fix the sink, and some plumber's grease. Wonder if that's why their pants never stay up and they get plumber's crack... hehehe... Came home and put it back together. It works like new. Whew! There for a second when we putting it back together and it wasn't wanting to work right, I was a little worried. I was also a little worried when I saw how small those little springs were. They were tiny! Glad I didn't drop one.

So, all in all, an interesting weekend. Oh, and the kids start school tomorrow. Let's just say, there's little motivation for that around here. The only one that's excited is Nikki. Kyle said he's only going this year, then he's going to quit. He says that every September. Wish us luck!

The end is near...

Summer is coming to a close. School bells are starting to ring. Stores are packed with smiling parents and frowning children.

There's nothing like the start of school to remind us how quickly time passes.

I'm not one to count the passing by birthdays, or New Year's Eve parties... I judge time by passing of summers... by "What grade are you in this year" questioning from people to my kids.

The littlest is in 2nd grade this year. I'm not sure I'm ready for this. He's almost 1/2 way through Elementary school. Halfway. He's my baby. It's always bittersweet to see your kids head off to school, but when it's your last kid, it's even more bitter than sweet. School is a scary place when you're so small. He's not the littlest guppy in that big tank, but compared to the 5th grade students, he sure looks it. He looks forward to school. He likes going, and he loves to learn. Those are 2 things that I hope continue for another 10+ years. It sounds so long, but I know it will fly by in no time at all.

Middlest? She's headed into 8th grade. Last year of middle school. Let the drama begin. I think that is the most turbulent year... They are the oldest in their school, and they try to act that way, but then they are still such children inside. Actually, I think this year is tied with next year when they are shoved into high school. I think 14 is still too young for high school. There are way too many things they have thrown at them. She needs to enjoy this year.

Oldest is a Junior. 11th grade. The year of Ring Dances and her first prom. The year to truly decide what she wants to be when she grows up. She's pretty sure she wants to be a photo journalist. Now she has to figure out how. There are SAT prep classes, she's taking yearbook again, and going to ask about the school newspaper. She's become quite the young lady, but when I look at her, I still see her on that first day of school, her backpack almost as big as she was. Scared and excited. I don't think the fear ever really goes away for that first day, but I think the excitement might be a little lacking. She knows she has the pressure of her future on her, and I just hope that she does't let it break her.

I was not a good student. I didn't like to work. I didn't like to put forth any effort. I am by no means unintelligent, you just can't prove it by my grades. High school was spent cutting classes, and hanging with the wrong people. I was more interested in avoiding school than finding my future. I want much more for my children. I want them to know that they can be better than me. They can be better than lots of people. They can be the best. They ARE the best.

Let the learning begin!

All's fair in love and ...

football season?

My husband loves me. He loves me a lot. How do I know this? Is it because he gives me gifts? Because he whispers sweet things in my ear? Because he does his own laundry? Maybe. The way that I know he loves me is that he lets me watch Grey's Anatomy for 2 hours every Thursday. I was late getting on that bandwagon. I didn't watch it at all, until this summer. I crammed 2 seasons into one summer. He lets me watch it on Sunday night, and then for 2 hours on Thursdays.

He really loves me.

How do I show that love in return? I found the Skins game on some way up there Fox Sports channel for him to watch. I'll let him watch all the Redskin games he wants this season. I might even watch some too... maybe. I do have an alterior motive though... I can look for Elizabeth... I worked with her dad. Nicest guy I've ever met. Her mom, an elementary school teacher. Oh, where would I be looking for her? On the sidelines. She is (at least she was last season) a Redskins Cheerleader. I remember her coming into the office when she was 12 or so... she was pretty then, but now? Beautiful. Oh, the other benefit to letting him watch the game? I can come here and talk to all of you, dear internet, and not really feel guilty.

It's a matter of pride...

It's a known fact that male lions will chase off or kill young cubs in their pride. They do this so that the lionesses will go into heat and they can mate again. Typical guy. The lioness will hide or move her young to protect them. She's the mom, she's supposed to. Besides, cubs are tiring, you really think she has the energy to mate after chasing cubs around the Savannah all day?

There's also the rule, never get between a momma bear and her cub. She'll rip you to shreds to get to her young ones. Again, she's the momma, she's supposed to.

So, are human mommas any less protective of their little ones? I don't think so, I just think we've grown enough to know that ripping someone to shreds could get us in a bit of hot water.

Knowing all this, you would think that my StupidX would know that if he messes with my babies, I'm rip him up. His latest dazzling show of parental prowess? Tell your 16 year old that you have no idea why they keep talking about and planning on going to college. She'll never get there, and will spend the rest of her life flipping burgers at McDonald's. Tell her that you don't know why she just spent 2 weeks wasting her time doing an internship since it won't matter anyway cause she won't ever get to college. Explain to me why a parent, who claims to love their children as much he says he does would do this?

So, after about 45 mins of damage control, she left me feeling a little better. I gave her the pep talk about how much I'm happy with what she's doing and where she wants to go with her life. She seems to have it pretty much together. I explained to her that I really don't think he wants her to fail. He really doesn't want to see her stuck in the same town we live in now for ever... flipping burgers. I also told her that if anything, she needs to make sure that she gets her butt out there and does the best she can, just to prove him wrong.

Another thing she told me was that he doesn't say these things to the 13 year old. So I asked her, what does he say when she tells him her thoughts on where she wants to go to college and what she wants to be? She told me that she's never said anything to him because she doesn't want the same reaction that Kay got. She doesn't want him to say those mean things to her. Since that conversation, she told StupidX her college choice and her thoughts on a career path. She said he just looked at her, asked her why she wanted to do that and walked away. Gotta love the open flowing support he gives his kids.

So, to sum this up, Momma lions will hide their cubs to keep them from harm. Momma bears will rip you to pieces if they think you're gonna hurt their babies. This Momma? She's gonna have to go all Lions and Tigers and Bears on someone if he doesn't stop hurting my babies. They are smart, they are funny, they are well rounded and can do whatever they want. If you get in their way, I will take you out.

something that i didn't have to think about...

You Are a Double Espresso

Hey Energizer Bunny Girl! Do you ever slow down? You're a mix of high energy and ambition, perfectly matched with strong espresso When you want something you get it - by any means possible You're driven, determined, and no nonsense. Which is just how you like your java.

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Ok... so I got tagged...

by Cherie, so I guess I'll do it... :)

1. One book that changed your life? Keep the list short, and exclude the Bible, Koran, or any other spiritual authority: I don't know of one that changed my life, but there were definately some that made me think... Night by Elie Weisel, and a long time ago, I read this book, written someone named Joni someone, she was paralyzed in a diving accident I think I read that when I was like 12 or so, and the story of her courage and determination just stayed with me. (ok, on a whim I searched for her and found the book! I was never expecting that! LOL... wow.)

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: Ok... I'm almost embarrassed to admit this. I don't usually re-read books, but the one that I did, was a Harlequin Romance. The sign of the Golden Pineapple.

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: Hmm... if I was stranded unwantedly, I'd want "How to build a life raft in 3 easy steps"... if I wanted to be there, I don't know what I'd want... hard to pick.

4. One book that made you laugh: The one I remember most recently was Basket Case by Carl Hiaasen.

5. One book that made you cry: The Time Travelers Wife by Audrey Niffenegger.

6. One book you wish had been written: "How to kill your exhusband and make it look like an accident". What? Ok, how about "How to make your exhusband see that he's an ass and that he's messing up his kids and needs a swift kick to the head"?

7. One book you wish had never been written: None that I can think of.

8. One book you’re currently reading: Wicked by Gregory Macquire.

I don't think I'm going to tag anyone, cause it seems we've all been tagged already. Although, if you haven't been tagged, and you want to do it, go for it! ;)

It's the little things...

There are little things that I found out last weekend about some of my friends. Things I didn't know I didn't know.

Ok, maybe not things. Just thing.

I don't know about when I was really young, I don't remember much then, but I remember from about age 11-12, when I would meet a friend's parents, I would call them Miss Jane and Mr. John... or whatever their first names happened to be. It was a way to show respect with out being too formal. Some friends had parents that went by Mr & Mrs Lastname. That was a bit formal. Thru most of high school, we did away with our mom's names, and called the friend's mom "Mom". The dads usually stayed Mr. Firstname.

While at the BBQ, I found out that none of my friends have their kids do this... I don't know what they do, but this was not the norm. Traci even said that her kids only do it at the BBQ.

Hmm... if they don't do that, what do they call adult people who are not an Aunt or an Uncle? (Oh, we had some people that were very close friends of the family that we called Aunt and Uncle, and for a while, my oldest daughter called my best friend Aunt. We stopped talking when her boyfriend had a spat with StupidX... sheesh, men are such babies.) Anyway.... Hubby's parents claim it's a southern thing. There are lots of people here that do it, and I wouldn't call MD the heart of the south.

So, if it's the Miss, Mr thing, what else is there? I mean what else do I do that's different than what they do?

I know one thing, the little differences aren't that big of a deal. Even the big differences don't always matter much... We know we're different, and we accept those differences and we move on. Isn't that what friends do?

So, if your kids don't do the Mr. & Miss Firstname thing, what do they do?

HEY! OVER HERE!

Oh, Ok... now that I have your attention, I want to apologize for my absence. Yeah, I know. I've been neglecting you. Yes, I still love you. Really, I do.

Oh, so where have I been? Just a little busy. I've taken about a week off work, but not all at once. What? Oh, yeah, so I haven't been busy at work, but I spent the first part of my mini-vacation in beautiful NY state... Came home, was crazy busy at work, then took time off to go to PA to pick up my travelling child, and spend a great weekend with some great friends.

Let me tell you about my wonderful weekend... You're gonna wanna hear this. It's a great story!

Last year, at the annual Mom's BBQ, we discussed flying Cherie out to one of the BBQ's... That was pretty much the end of the discussion... Then in October, one of my dearest friends, Kim, was diagnosed with breast cancer. We were shocked, and saddened and angered... On February 24th a plan was hatched... I sent an email asking if anyone wanted in on a plan to surprise Cherie with a plane ticket, and Kim with Cherie. Just about everyone was on board. Heather sold some scrapbooking supplies on ebay and donated the money. Amy sold tupperware to the rest of us and donated her commission. The rest of us sent what we could. Next thing I knew it, Michele sent an email saying we had enough! We researched flights, and bought the tickets. She was the one that got to call Cherie and tell her to pack her bags! I was excited then, but it seemed to be only the tip of the iceberg of excitement. That was about 2 months ago... those were the longest 2 months EVER! Yeah, time always seems to drag when you're waiting for something, doesn't it?

Then came the rest... We had Cherie figured out. All the logistics, the blessing from her hubby, and the whole scheme. We got her here to the east coast, and to the BBQ... we stopped first for some balloons for her to hide behind, and spotted this great SURPRISE! banner. Ok, so the banner was 12 feet long, and made from some foil stuff that doesn't tear, so Cherie was wrapped and tied up in it. Perfect touch though, don't you think? We walked in, and Kim and the whole gang were there... and Cherie let the balloons go, and Kim watched them float to the ceiling of the foyer. They floated up, and Kim kept watching... Then she looked down. FINALLY! She was shaking, we were all crying, and she kept saying, "What are you doing here?!" It was wonderful. No, not her shock and speechlessness. The feeling of knowing that I made a difference. That while Kim has been fighting her battle, we were coming up with the plan that would make her forget it for just a little bit. That we were going to something so wonderful for someone that has been an inspiration to me... she has never complained, never whined, never let it get her so down, that she isn't still patting us on the back for our little victories, or giving us hugs when we need them. Kim is awesome, and I'm glad to know her. I'm proud to call her friend.

I can't take all the credit, almost everyone was in on it. (I need to apologize here to Sue... not sure if you're reading this, but somehow, I missed adding you to the BBQ Surprise email list. I'm terribly sorry. Please forgive me.) I had Sue send me Shreddies so Cherie could have her usual breakfast. The only one that wasn't in on it, was Kim, of course.

Cherie is home now. I miss her. I'm glad we did this.

Kim and Cherie, you both mean so much to me! I'm glad I could be instrumental in making one person's dream come true, and another person's day brighter.

I love all my October mom sisters. They are truly an amazing group of women.

I wish you could meet them. You would understand what I mean.