Pineapple upside down cake....

There's nothing that can't be cured by pineapple upside down cake.

It has been one of those weeks. I made a small mistake at work on an invoice, as soon as I noticed, I let my boss know, and thought it was done. Oh no... can't be that easy. Now, the president of the company thinks that I need to be more organized. Ok... I'll confess, I am not the most organized person. I'm not even the least organized person. However, while I may be disorganized, I know where everything is... it's in that pile... oh, and so is that other thing you want... you get the idea. So, now I have trays... lots and lots of trays. I wouldn't have minded so much if he weren't such a jerk in the way he handled it. Don't walk in and tell me that I'm incompetent. I am not. If I were, do you think I would still be working there?! After 10+ years?! I don't think so.

Anyway... it had just been one of those weeks, and that was only part of it. Today for lunch we went to our usual Friday lunch place. I got the oyster stew today instead of the veggie burger. Linda knew I was having a bad day, so she picked up a piece of pineapple upside down cake. For some reason, it just made everything better.

I remember growing up and my grandmom would make pineapple upside down cake. She would use the pineapple rings so there was a nice circle. There would be a lovely cherry in the middle, and all that gooey brown sugar yummy-ness all around. She would always give me a large square so that I would get the whole pineapple ring... My mom would protest that was too much for me, and my grandmom would just wink at me, and give it to me anyway... I sure do miss her. Maybe that's why I like it so much. Of course, none tastes as good as hers. Maybe I should find out who has her recipe and make one. I'm sure my kids would like it... I know I did. I'll have to make sure that they each get a whole pineapple ring... and a cherry, and all the yummy brown sugar goodness all round.

Oh, and another thing...

So I'm supposed to be on this weight loss journey. Only I can't ever lose the weight... it keeps finding me. Last night, I got on the scale (yeah, yeah, I know, not supposed to weigh at night) and I had gained 6 pounds! I'm really going in the wrong direction. So, for those of you who have lost weight, I have it here and if you would kindly come claim it, I would be very happy. Oh, and Mr. Sensitive says, "Don't worry honey, I'll still love you when you're as big as a house." Yeah, that's encouraging...

I don't want a big butt.

Things that make you wanna just stay in bed...

So, why when it rains do I just want to stay in bed? yeah, I know, weather affects (or should that be effects?) moods thing, but still... So I wake up, late again, and it's barely light out, so I don't think it's as late as it really is... Don't ya hate when that happens? So anyway, I have to jump out of bed... get the girls up, they overslept too, then wake cranky pants Kyle, who is actually in a good mood, and rush out the door in less than 23 mins. We did it, but now I'm really wanting to have stayed in bed.

Half way to work, the rain mixes with snow... thank goodness it isn't cold enough to stick on anything. I really don't like winter. It's cold out... it's dreary... I leave for work in the dark, I leave work to go home in the dark... my bed is warm and cozy, and I hate to even have to leave the covers to get food or go to the bathroom... ugh.

The other thing I hate, and while this has nothing to do with wanting to stay in bed, but I don't wanna be a girl any more. (If you don't wanna read about girly issues, stop here.) My cycle has been all messed up for about a year or so... I went to the Dr, who was a jerk and NEVER called with any test results, so I guess there isn't anything really seriously wrong. I mean if there was she would have called right? yeah, i tried to call her, but they would take messages, but she would never call back. Anyway, So I have now had my period for 8 days! I'm not sure why, and I don't really care, as long as it goes away. I figure, I'm not using that stuff anymore, can we turn it off? I've got 3 kids, don't plan on any more, don't particularly want anymore, and the way I see it, the longer it's working, the higher my risk is of getting one of those baby things...

Ok, so here it is, Wednesday, and according to MSN 67% of people who play hookie from work do so on a Wednesday... I knew I should have stayed in bed today... Sigh...

The ups and downs of the weekend...

The ups were way up there... and the downs were way down there. What do you want first? The good or the bad? I'll start with the bad... there's more of that.

So, for some unknown reason, dirty dishes have become a point of contention in my house. I am by no means Miss Growing Dangerous Substances in the Sink, but I am also not a neat freak. We had dinner on Friday night, dirty dishes got put in the sink. When they weren't yet washed @ 8:45 (that's still early for washing dishes in my house) Hubby came out of the bedroom and decided that at that very moment, the world was going to end because the dishes were in the sink. He was slamming things around, and stomping and screaming and yelling so much that veins were bulging and spit was flying. (I really needed a video camera for that one!) He yelled at the oldest child and called her "lazy" and yelled at me for allowing them to be that way. What!?! He went on about this for a good 25 mins or so. I got up, went out to wash the dishes and he decides that since he's gotten it all off his chest, sent Kay off crying, and totally ticked me off, that he was done, and all was peachy keen. WRONG! I was furious. He came out to give me a hug, thinking that would make it better. I threatened him with a pot. He tried again, once I was done washing the pot, but I pushed away the hug, and walked out the door. Why do guys think that just because they are over it, everyone else is? I washed the dishes, went up to make sure that Kay was alright, got ready for bed and was in bed by 10pm. It's a good thing that I was asleep by the time he came to bed or I would have gone to sleep in Kyle's bed. The next morning, I was still mad, so I didn't speak to him most of the day. We only spoke about things we had to talk about. I was feeling a little better by Saturday, and had talked with Kay to make sure that she understood that it was not a personal attack at her or me. (She was pretty upset, thought that it was her fault that he was so angry.) I then came up with a plan to get the dishes done and the extra stuff that needs to be done around the house. I laid it all out for him, told him there would be a family discussion to cover the new plan, and that he could attend said meeting only if kept his mouth shut. The first time he spoke down to anyone, or raised his voice, I was going to make him leave. The meeting went smoothly. He didn't say anything at all. I told him if he ever blew up like that again about something as trivial as his thoughts on when dishes should be washed, it wouldn't be an issue cause I would break everyone of them as I threw them at his head. We're better now. Except I'm waiting for him to apologize to Kay for his behavior.

Now the good news...

THE FREELOADER IS MOVING OUT! He hasn't been sleeping there since Thursday night, I have moved the boxspring and mattress that he was using back into storage, and we put the new airhockey table where he was sleeping. He has some stuff to pack up, then a storage space to rent, and I'm getting my key back and I will be done. I have learned my lesson. As much as I want to help family, I'm not gonna do that again!

You know, that up *almost* beats out the down... LOL!

Ok... so it's not that bad...

Well, after our blow up on Valentine's day, and me spurting blood all over the place in my hissy fit, we have done the proverbial kiss and makeup.

We both acted like babies (but he was the bigger baby) about washing the stupid dishes. I'm over it for now, but you can bet that the next time this comes up, I won't let him forget.

On other fronts, I think I need to have a sit down with the X and the boy. I'm tired of being the bad guy. I shouldn't be the only bad guy in this. X picked up kids 2 days in a row this week for dinner. He usually does this 2 day dinner thing, but not usually back to back days. Kyle had a fit! Daddy has too many turns. I need to tell the judge that Daddy's food tastes like dog crap. Daddy's house has bugs. The kids over there (the X's stepdemons) are mean to him. You name it and he'll complain about it at the X's. According to my lawyer, unless there is abuse or neglect, there isn't much I can do. As much as I dislike the X most days, I don't think there is either of those going on. I think if I sit down with the 2 of them, hopefully the X will be mature enough to help us sort it out. Probably not, though. He seems to think that when ever something like this is going on, I'm out to blame him. I will only blame him if he is at fault. I just think that Kyle doesn't like to stray from his usual routine... and the X moving days here and there all the time doesn't make it easy for him to know what to expect.

I guess I can be the evil X better than the bad guy, cause I hate seeing my kids hurt the way they do when they are forced to go with him.

This weekend is the X's weekend with the kids... I don't think I'll tell Kyle ahead of time. I'll let the X break it to him when he shows up.

Crappy Valentine's Day!...

Somedays I really wish I was still single. Ok, maybe not, but somedays I don't like being married...

As I was getting ready to leave to head home, for a nice quiet evening with the hubby and the kids when one of the programmers came back in and told me that my tire was almost flat. Now, this is not a big deal. I could change it if I needed to, and heaven knows I've changed a ton of them. I get out and look at it, and decide that a trip to the Jiffy Lube for air, should be good to get me home. That's what I did. Went to mom's got the 2 younger kids since Kay doesn't like to go there after school, she walks home the almost 3 miles now. I had called hubby and he's going to meet me at the tire place so I'm not stranded. He's so sweet... for now... While we are there, Kay has been instructed on what needs to be done for dinner.

We arrived home, in time for dinner to be finished, and we have a few extra minutes so we give the kids their cards, and candy. I give him his card, again telling him that I owe him a gift... he says I'm all he really needs... I get a card, it makes me cry of course, and a very pretty heart shaped locket.

During dinner, Kay asks if since she made dinner does she still have to do dishes. I told her that I didn't think so... sounds reasonable to me. And that's the reason that hubby says he doesn't do the dishes... cause he makes dinner. So after dinner, I ask him who he thinks should do the dishes... He says he doesn't care, but he's not doing them. He takes his turn so he's not doing them. Well, I take my turn way more than he does, and since she cooked and he didn't, I thought he should do them. I started to walk away. I didn't think he was going to do them, but I had said I wanted, and was done. Well he wasn't. He said that he wasn't going to do them, and that he didn't care when they got done and by whom, cause it wasn't going to be him. I said, "Oh, then who's turn will it be tomorrow when there is 2 night's worth?" He told me that I needed to stop "B*tching and complaining". I told him that I wasn't, he was the only one that was, and walked away.

I was fuming, and still thinking that he should be the one to do the dishes, but I started the sink, and filled it with the dishes. I had gotten about 1/2 of them done, when I picked up the glass hubby uses everyday for his milk. I had just stuck the sponge in, and it cracked and I sliced my pinkie finger on the glass. I was livid. I shouldn't have been there in the first place, now I'd broken a stupid glass and was bleeding all over the place. GRRRR....

I stormed to the bathroom for a bandaid and soon realized that I couldn't get it on, cause my hands were wet and soapy. I stomped into the bedroom, and threw them at him. He helped me get it dried off and put the bandaid on. He went out to finish the dishes, and saw what glass it was that broke, and said "I think you did that on purpose cause it was my favorite glass." I was ready to slit his throat with the broken shard.

Men... I always wonder where they take their training... Dork boot camp? Sheesh...

My finger will be fine... The skin is all intact, so it should heal pretty quick... and I guess a guy that can buy me a card that makes me cry, and jewelry for Valentine's probably isn't all that bad...

My Pillsbury Doughboy...

Sunday was supposed to be Kyle's Blue and Gold banquet. Mother Nature had other plans, and we got about 10-12" of snow, depending on whether you measure in the front yard or the back yard. I don't get it either... maybe I can't read a yardstick... Anyway, they were going to have a cake baking contest for the boys. Kyle knew what he wanted to do... he had a vision. We baked the cake on Saturday, in anticipation of the banquet that wasn't, so we decorated it anyway. He did most of the work. He mixed and baked the cake. He did all the decorations. I helped cover the bare spots on the corners. Oh, and I also cut the shape. This was something the boys were supposed to do on their own with little help from parents. I think he did an awesome job.

I must be living in a time warp...

I swear it still doesn't seem like February. Christmas was just a couple weeks ago... right? I must be the suckiest wife in history... Today is Valentine's Day... a day for love, and affection and all that mushy stuff... I know that hubby got me something. He told me he did. Even told me how much he spent, so I wouldn't go overboard. I didn't... I got him a card. I had good intentions, really. I knew it was today, but forgot how fast today would get here. I have not put any thought into it and so I told him. I suck. I'm sorry, but I just do. I love him dearly, but I'm lousy about these things... I always thought I was romantic, but I guess not. For our anniversary, he got me this really nice throw that has our names and wedding date engraved on it... I got him the 1st season of the Muppet Show. Hey, it's something I knew he wanted. It just wasn't romantic. I suppose I could pick up some flowers on the way home... maybe. I could get him a giftcard, but how romantic is that?!

I could always stick a red bow on my head, and say I'm his gift... nah... he can have that pretty much anytime...

Man, I suck. Hope he understands that I really do love him...

Yet another weekend...

and I don't think I'll accomplish much. Today we went to voluteer at the church's pantry. It's odd, being there and seeing the people that come in. There was a time, not too long ago, that I might have been in the position to be there. When I separated from my x, I was determined to prove that I could make it on my own, and that nothing would change. It might have appeared that way, but it did... there were many times when we would have pbj and mac & cheese for dinner. I didn't want anyone to doubt my decision to ask my then spouse to leave. I didn't want anyone to know that I was struggling. I paid my bills, most of them almost on time, kept the kids fed, and put on the happy face... My mom says that she knew I was struggling, I don't think she knew how much though. She knew that I didn't have any extra money, but I don't think she knew how tight it really was.

It's scary to think how close I was to having to ask for help. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with asking for help. I just didn't want to do it. I remember the elementary school counselor asking me if I needed help around the holidays... I of course told her no. That Christmas, the kids got very little. Not much of what was on their list was under the tree that year.

They knew what was going on, and they knew the situation, and I hate that they had to know. I wish they never had to know. I wish that they never needed to know that anything was different. I guess when their dad leaves, and we are eating Mac&Cheese with tuna or hotdogs almost every night, there isn't any way to hide it from them. About that time, my mom started having us for dinner every night. We ate there almost everynight for 3 years. She let me believe that it was easier than picking up the kids and going home to cook dinner, and I let her believe that we were doing it so that she could feel like she was helping. She pretty much saved us.

Now, whenever I can help someone who might be where I was, I do. I know how scary it is to live day to day... to not know where your next dinner will come from, or what you might eat. To want more than anything to keep your secret. Guess it's not a secret anymore... That's why I volunteer at the food pantry. I know what it's like. I've almost been there.

Funny... 8 shots of vodka will make you able to talk about anything... please excuse any typos... Thanks.

She must not like me...

Or maybe she just doesn't like chiropractors...

Went to the Dr's and came away with a diagnosis of Bursitis (What! Isn't that what old people get?!) and an acute back injury, that I have to wait 2-3 weeks, and if it isn't better, I need to call her for a referral to PT. On other notes, everything else was fine. I have to have a round of blood work done to check cholesterol, diabetes, liver, thyroid.


Guess I'll be here for a while... at least as of now.

Cottage cheese...

No, not the kind you eat, the kind that's jiggling on my thighs. Ugh. I'm on this quest with some friends to lose some weight... I only wanna lose about 40 pounds. Do you think I could manage to lose any?! No, it seems that I've gained 2.

I try to be good, watch what I eat, don't eat late at night, no sodas, non sweet tea, no snacks... and I still gain 2 pounds! Part of me wants to just say "Screw it!" and go home and eat chocolate, and the other part of me is even more determined to keep going. I think I'll stick it out for a little while longer... see if I can turn the tide...

When I go to the Dr tomorrow, I really hope to get that referral to the chiropractor, so my back stops hurting... if that happens, I can start exercising. That should get things going the way I want.... hopefully.

I guess when they say that anything that's worth having, is worth working for is true... I would love to not be embarrassed to wear a bathing suit around people I know.

Make the pain go away...

you know, somedays I wish I could just stay in bed... My hips have been out of whack for about a week now... Man it hurts. It's painful to sit, painful to stand... the transition between those 2 is even worse! I have tried all the moves on the floor, rolling, bending, moving. Nothing is working.

After a string of young people getting sick and some of them dying (2 people dead of heart attacks under the age of 43 in 2 months), Hubby made me make a Dr's appt. I think I'm going to beg and plead for a referral to the chiropractor. I need something. I want to be able to move again.