January 4, 2008
Happy Birthday! I really can’t believe you’re 18… it doesn’t seem that much time has passed. I still remember being pregnant with you. I remember the first time I saw you… all scrunched up and tiny. You had beautiful eyes and the cutest fingers and toes.
When you were a baby, if we were out somewhere, everyone would comment that you looked like a little china doll. You were a very beautiful baby.
Growing up, you were so funny. You had a mind of your own and knew exactly what you wanted. (You’re still like that!) You loved your Jingles, and he went everywhere with us. Then we realized that things would get ugly if you didn’t have him, so he stayed home and would wait for you.
When you started talking, you would babble nonsense words mixed in with real words and your expressions looked as though there was something wrong with us for not knowing what you were talking about. Uncle Joe used to “talk” to you in baby babble and the two of you would carry on whole conversations. It was very amusing to watch the seriousness on your face while you listened to him, and then you would answer him with that same seriousness.
You weren’t always the most outgoing when meeting new people, so we joined Girl Scouts to help you make friends. Then there was dance class to help you be more social. I soon learned that while some of the girls would have the whole flock of other girls around them, they didn’t have what you had. You may not have had a whole group of girls hanging around you, but the ones that you did have as your friends were (and still are!) very special and important to you. At the same time though, you were never “snobby” and excluded anyone from being your friend, but there were some friends, like T, that are life long friends and that you will always keep special.
I know now that you are growing up and becoming a young lady and not my little girl anymore, I really need to let you go. Hopefully one day you will understand how difficult that is to do. When I look at you, I still see my first baby… my first child, the one that will always be my Kaysie Diddle. Now it’s time for me to find out if I’ve done my job correctly and shown you how to be responsible, so you can go out into that big world and be successful. I know I have to let go, but part of me wants to protect you still. I will always want to do that, and I will always be here if you need me. That’s what moms do for their babies.
I know that you will be fine. You are a smart, beautiful, funny person. There will be times when you get hurt, but you’ll just get up, brush it off, and try again.
Just remember, no matter where you go, or what you do, I will always be there cheering you on, and supporting you. I’ll also help you brush it off and move on. I love you.